How to become a superhero

Just like my earlier post on writing a bestselling romance novel, this a post I made on the interweb a while ago that made me chuckle(1) so I thought I’d republish it here.

About the time that the Will Smith film Hancock had come out I had started thinking around how a character might go about trying to develop superpowers. I never did anything with the premise, unless you count this little “article” here.

Hope you like it. Regular service resumes soon!

(1) Travel to a community of weaklings so that you appear powerful by comparison.

Classic example:
Superman

aka:
the big-fish-in-a-small-pond approach

cons:
– may involve difficult travel arrangements, especially to other galaxies
– no true powers gained… super only by comparison, so less fulfilling

notes:
can be obtained in practice by being a primary school teacher, with powers such as
– being taller and stronger
– basic maths and spelling
– able to control bladder movements

(2) Bitten by a radioactive animal, with powers derived from traits of animal used.

Classic example:
Spiderman

aka:
the what-doesn’t-kill-you-makes-you-stronger approach

cons:
– may kill you
– long term effects untested; may cause cancer

notes: 
some animals are more impressive than others
– spider – climb walls; sling webs; “spidey-sense”
– snake – silent movement; lightning reflexes; saliva causes paralysis
– komodo dragon – ability to withstand many kinds of bacteria; bad breath

(3) Use of extensive R&D budget to develop technological superiority.

Classic example:
Batman

aka:
US foreign policy

cons:
– vulnerable whilst in ‘alter ego’ mode
– speeding tickets; parking tickets; prosecution under the Dangerous Weapons Act
– requires secret lair for storage; may impact home insurance premiums

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(1) – Yes, I’m aware I’m the only person it made chuckle.

Photo lifted from the Flickr page of Brett Jordan