Category Archives: Uncategorized

Interrupted reading and the impromptu book review

‘Hey, book dude.’

His voice is slow and quiet, with just the hint of a Scottish accent. I’ve not met enough Scots to be able to guess which area, but the word Aberdeen pops into my head anyway, with absolutely no credible rationale.

I keep reading as I walk. It’s after 10pm and it’s dark, but this is my familiar walk home so I can tell by the changing intensity of light on the page that I’m about to hit a lamppost. I make a quick mid-stride step to the left to avoid the impact.

‘That’s some impressive walking, book dude.’

I turn the page. ‘Thanks.’ Continue reading

Website update

So it’s April. Spring. A time for renewal.

A time for… updating your website?

If you’ve stopped by pigfender.com over the past few days you might have noticed various “closed for maintenance” messages on the site. You’ll probably also have noticed that most of the site was changing, adapting… polymorphing(*)?… right around your eyes. This is because I’ve been playing around and updating the site whilst munching on my sandwiches at lunch for the past few days.

It’s got pretty much the same look and feel that it used to but with the features subtly nudged and reconfigured, like the old site’s more attractive sister.

Hope you like it.

* – this is the danger of gaining all your science knowledge from episodes of Red Dwarf.

It was about twelve years ago now

PepperMouseIt was about twelve years ago now.

I was sitting in the café of a train station in Bristol staring out the window, ignoring the scalding hot cup of tea on the counter in front of me. I was already twenty minutes late to meet someone in the car park. They’d sent me a text message to say they’d arrived, but I ignored it. I couldn’t leave yet.

I couldn’t leave because I’d been crying.  Continue reading

Why the Olympics aren’t sport

halfpipeLet me ask you a question that will test your logical reasoning, general knowledge and understanding of the English language all at the same time:
What is wrong with the following sentence? “Despite a love of sports, I have never been a fan of the Olympics.

The correct answer is that the word “Despite” is used incorrectly. My love of sports and apathy towards the Olympics are completely unrelated, since the Olympics has very little to do with sport(1). There is a reason why they are called the Olympic Games.

I find the dictionary definition of the word “sport” to be wholly insufficient, being cast broadly enough to allow all sorts of undesirable activities to be included (this is something, by the way, that Mrs Pigfender finds very annoying and wishes I’d stop going on about whenever the Olympics are on). Anyway, unsatisfied with the current classification, I set about coming up with my own set of principles to decide if something really was a sport or not. The following five rules were the outcome: Continue reading

How to become a superhero

Just like my earlier post on writing a bestselling romance novel, this a post I made on the interweb a while ago that made me chuckle(1) so I thought I’d republish it here.

About the time that the Will Smith film Hancock had come out I had started thinking around how a character might go about trying to develop superpowers. I never did anything with the premise, unless you count this little “article” here.

Hope you like it. Regular service resumes soon! Continue reading